So

So I came here to write about something and probably I'm going to write about something entirely different. 

Food in my stomach is starting to take its toll, I knew it was inside a but couldn't help but to continue doing it, I don't feel myself right now I feel kinda dizzy, I'm not this feeling for too long and honestly it doesn't feel right, even though it's familiar I think I don't want this in my life anymore, so making the choices to go where I'm supposed to go isn't enough if I don't respect those choices, I mean, I do know my demons and saying that they come to visit me every now and then it wouldn't be fair to myself, why? Because it's not like date come and I let them in, somehow I invited them, I provided the necessary environment for them to arrive, or at least this is my current feeling or this is what I think of it now. 

I know it's wrong, but somehow it feels right, so I might have to ignore it this time? Because I don't want this burden on top of me, and it only thought that comes to my head is that I don't want to look like a fool in the upcoming years? Or months or whatever and that's basically it I know that's basically it. 

So what to do is in my hands I know, and I don't want to feel like this again. 

So respecting the choices probably is going to be the way to go and yeah my blood pressure seems normal so that's not it. 

My body against my mind. 

It's what I want to when I feel in a certain way. 

And probably I will have to come up and confront this. 

Not in the way I usually do things but in a very different way maybe just by accepting what the life is telling me and giving me and take advantage of it because it's right there I just have to take it. 

So I have to be open and not to fear the results because to be honest I don't fear the results just don't want this burden.

-JG

I still here... for me.

Last year I learned that I have to be there fo myself, which was shockingly weird but made sense at the same time.

I'm here for me because I love myself, somehow I've learned to hug myself and to support me, in kinda the right way? 

Backing up my decisions with certainty feels ok, cause every now and then everything feels overwhelming.

You always forget to breathe.

-I

That feeling

It is weird, cause sometimes it's in my head, like, literally in my head, I can feel it, sorrounding my cheeks from the sides of my head, warm, pulsing, hurting my eyes, making my veins swell, presing my jaw...

I

Can

Feel

It

So, for some reason even thou I know how to 'manage it' how to battle it, I'm unable to... 

Comparing could be the reason... but what if that's not it??

What is it then?

When?

What do I need?

-I